I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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