I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
my sisters under your porch take her home
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
