I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I just found puke in my bra..
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
