I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
