Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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