Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Randomize
