You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
