I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
