were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Randomize
