Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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