Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
