Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
