And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
