We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
