Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
