lets start a swedish sibling band together
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
