you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
