I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
