you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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