five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I smell like Dick and happiness
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