she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
We just shotgunned beers for America
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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