happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
