i think i have herpe
just one?
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Randomize
