let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
