I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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