girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
