I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
