I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
