Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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