I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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