It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
