Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
You work out of a Hotel?
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
