her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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