I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
