Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
