My hand turned me down
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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