I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
