Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
