8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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