the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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