She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
