Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
