My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
