Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
