Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
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