i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
