did you get engaged???
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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