ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
