Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
