glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
