I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
